It is possible to feel good about ourselves as we age, we just have to understand what self esteem really is and what steps to take to enhance it in ourselves (and others).
Everyone seems to have an opinion on the importance of self-esteem. And yet, the general understanding of the meaning of self-esteem in the public arena is slippery at best. The National Association of Self Esteem, (Yes! There is such an organization!), defines it as “The experience of being capable of meeting life’s challenges and being worthy of happiness.” If you are a person with a healthy level of self-esteem, you will deal with the problems you encounter in a productive fashion, believing that you are a good and decent person who is entitled to good things.
People often confuse egocentricity with self-esteem and assume the terms are one and the same. READ MORE
I grew up in a family and a religion that discouraged self-esteem. For example, feeling proud of an accomplishment was considered egocentric, even sinful. “Don’t brag” was something I heard a lot. So it’s been a life-long battle to feel consistently good about myself. I know I’ve lost consulting work at times because I seemed too modest. So your post is a great reminder about the important of cultivating self-esteem. And I’m really glad to know that there is such a thing as The National Association of Self Esteem. I wonder if I’m good enough to become a member? (Just kidding!)
Kathy, you described my family to a tee! I think I’ve only begun to understand what the concept means and like you I’ve given away a ton of work because it’s so difficult for me to sell myself, or more truthfully to own that something I might do is worthwhile. It’s a terrible place to live and I’m trying desperately to avoid my mother’s fate. She gave away so much and asked so little for herself, and then only passive aggressively, that she died an unhappy woman. She helped so many people. It was tragic she couldn’t have saved just a tiny bit for herself. Thanks for your comment!