Month: November 2010

Saying Yes to Life

Saying Yes to Life

photo by D Sander

 

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s not always easy to figure out why people do what they do, especially when that person is ourselves. Despite our best efforts many of us find that we are forever getting off, what we think is, the “right track”. Too often we take carefully calculated steps when what we really need to do is to go with our gut, not our mind. However, we are afraid to trust the directives of our heart and soul.

I recently read about a study that can give us a clue into one of the reasons why we may not trust ourselves. In the study, a group of babies who could crawl but not yet walk, were placed on a glass platform. Part of the platform was on top of solid ground but as they crawled forward they crossed onto a glass floor that was transparent. As you may know, we are born with a fear of falling. Across the room, the baby’s mothers were divided into two groups. One group of mothers was told to smile encouragingly to her child. The other group of mothers was to frown and look fearful. Neither was to speak. In all instances the babies whose mothers looked at them with encouragement and smiles continued out onto the transparent glass flooring despite the normal fear of falling. The others did not.

How our parents responded to us, even as early as infancy, either reinforces our fears or sets us free. If your mother was particularly fearful, like mine, you may have received a multitude of signals that have made it difficult for you to move into dangerous territory with ease and confidence. This, however, does not mean you cannot do so. It just means you’ll have to work a little harder at it. Recognizing that what we feel when faced with a new challenge is simply fear of the unknown can help give us the reassurance that we did not receive as children.

Our fears may take a variety of forms. It may even give us false messages about what we really want to do. We may mistake these messages for our inner voice. They are very powerful. One easy way to tell if what you are hearing is fear or your inner voice is to ask yourself this question when making a decision about a step to take. Does this step “say yes to life?”  Fear closes doors it does not open them. Fear keeps us stuck. Saying yes moves us forward. Even if we realize in time that the step was not the right one, we will have learned something about ourselves in the process and grown in confidence.

Dorothy Sander

Chris Moon-Willems ~ Founder of Relative Matters

Chris Moon-Willems ~ Founder of Relative Matters


Chris Moon-Willems is the founder and owner of Relative Matters an elderly care consultancy in England.  With over thirty years of experience as a professional in social care and NHS, as well as, five years of personal experience caring for her own aging parents, she has mastered the ins and outs of the caregiving process. She knows how to navigate the system and offers her assistance to family members who are caring for elderly parents.

Chris and her team at Relative Matters, advises and assists their clients in the arrangement and moderation of their loved ones care.  She is passionate about helping older people and guides them to find the best value solutions to their age specific challenges.  For more information visit her website Relative Matters or pick up a copy of her book: Relative Matters – the essential guide to finding your way around the care system for older people

You will also find Chris on Facebook and Twitter @ChrisMoonW

Article by Chris Moon-Willems on Aging Abundantly

Surviving Divorce

MORE RESOURCES FOR CAREGIVERS

GRAVY DAYS by Sue Ann Crockett

GRAVY DAYS by Sue Ann Crockett

Sue Ann Crockett is a delight both on and off the page. Her enthusiasm for life is infectious and her smile and wit light up the room. A newspaper columnist and freelance writer, lives in the Pacific Northwest where her award-winning Gravy Days column appears in The Ferndale Record. In her spare time she blogs on her website Gravy Days and is a regular contributor to Women Etcetera!, a website for women over fifty. She was a blogger with me on Women Etcetera!, the very first forum for women over fifty back when the internet was just in its infancy. She has been an inspiration to me ever since. Her sense of humor couple with her depth makes anything she writes worth reading.

Gravy Days is a must read for every woman over fifty. She brings the journey into aging into focus while making you laugh. An excellent review of Gravy Days can be found here. 

"Always Be Pure, Simple and Honest"

"Always Be Pure, Simple and Honest"

Telling Mom a story

I just opened up a bag of Yogi tea so I might have something hot to sip on this cool, fall afternoon.

I adore herbal tea, more for the medicinal value than the taste. When I sip a new odd mixture of steeped leaves for the first time, any slightly unpleasant taste makes me feel more certain that it must be good for whatever ails me.

As some of you probably know, Yogi tea has a little quote on the paper tag and the quote on mine said “Always be pure, simple and honest.” I paused to think about that. Sounded lovely… the perfect way to be…a wonderful state of mind, creating a great world to live in…but ah, being pure, simple and honest is probably the hardest thing a person can do.
We’ve told ourselves so many little lies  and half-truths over the years, many dictated by parents, siblings, spouses, friends, and experiences ~ it’s hard to find that tiny, pure kernel of innocence that once was us. Being pure, simple and honest is what children do best, very young children ~ the two-year old I saw at the park the other day comes to mind ~ expressive, open, honest and pure.

On the road to find outThe child within us is worth looking for, reconnecting with and getting to know again.  It is where we will find who we really are and who we were meant to be. Despite the fact that achieving such a state as an adult may be next to impossible, moving toward it is worth serious consideration.

DALE CARTER~ Transition Aging Parents

DALE CARTER~ Transition Aging Parents


Dale Carter, an Aging Advocate/Speaker/Coach, loves teaching others how to guide their own aging parent or loved one through the changes they often face. Focusing on the preservation and strengthening of relationships, Dale will show you how to save time, money and heartache.

Here is how Dale describes her journey into her role as Aging Advocate:

“I began writing my blog to share my experiences and lessons learned as I helped my mother through a health crisis. I helped her through a recovery period, helped her find interim home services, and also helped her select and move to a retirement community. I started from knowing nothing about eldercare, stages of aging or the range of options. I educated myself quickly. While I wanted my mother to have “quality of life”, I was very careful to listen to what she wanted. This was a huge learning experience for me… a major life changing experience. My perspective about aging has changed … for the better! I knew I had to share what I learned with others.”

Dale now has a website filled with information and options for support. Be sure to visit  Transition Aging Parents. You will find more information on Dale, her book (also called Transition Aging Parents) a FREE e-course, radio show, blog, videos and articles all for the caregiver. If you need support or just a little  perspective, let Dale lend a helping hand. She’s been where you are now and will walk with you on this journey with your aging parent so that you can not only survive but “thrive and find joy” in every stage of life. You will also find Dale on Facebook and Twitter.

Babyboomers Traveling by Doris Gallan

Babyboomers Traveling by Doris Gallan

Thirty years of working as a reporter and writing for others, Doris Gallan decided it was now time to work for herself.  In 2006 Doris and her husband quit their well-paying jobs, sold their house and 99 percent of their worldly possessions and set out on a 26 month ’round-the-world trip. Combining her love of writing with her love of  travel she has since traveled forty countries on six continents – including Antarctica, learned the polite words of some two dozen languages, ate foods she didn’t know existed, used practically every mode of transportation still in use and learned a lot herself and the world around her. With this much experience to write about she decided she had no excuse but to start putting words on paper (or more accurately computer).

Author of “The Boomers’ Guide to Going Abroad to Travel” she is a speaker & travel coach who inspires boomers to live their passions. You will find her on Facebook and posting on her various travel blogs. Her website is a wealth of tips and information. Be sure and drop by! or follow Doris on Twitter: @boomertraveling

 

Doris also occasionally posts traveling articles on Huff50. You will find a list here: