Do you remember being warned as a teen or young adult to think twice before doing something? I know I do. And, as parents we probably do the same with our children. We caution them as we were cautioned and suggest they look before they leap. Experience taught our parents, as it taught us, that some decisions can create big problems for us.
There’s no question that thinking about and evaluating a decision is a good thing. But, no matter how much we think, plan and evaluate, there will always be something that arises that never crossed our minds.
Whether the decision in question is life-changing, like considering substance abuse programs or something completely mundane such as going on vacation, the unknown, however, should not be something that keeps us from risk. We learn from our mistakes.
HIDDEN MESSAGES IN ADVICE
Sensible sounding advice, especially when it comes from a loved one, can come with subtle messages attached. For example, a mother’s warning may sound reasonable, but it may be delivered from a place of fear. The underlying message may really be, “I know how painful making mistakes can be and I love you so much I can’t stand to see you suffer.” As children and young adults, we hear the fear behind the words but don’t have the maturity to separate it from our own. When we hear a fear message, albeit hidden, we may believe it is our own.
Making a decision, particularly one that has the potential to push us out of our comfort zone, can seem overwhelming. There ways, however, to move forward as our feelings and thoughts around the decision may be painting a picture that is not reality. This is the best reason I know to talk over an important decision with someone who can help your separate fear and anxiety from reality.
GOOD GUIDANCE
Not all children receive healthy guidance from their parents. Good guidance opens our eyes to the possibilities, good and bad. The stories we hear from others has the ability to convey a life lesson and helps us process our fears in a constructive manner. Going it alone is not always the best way to go forward, even though sometimes it may be necessary.
The creative spirit wants to be set free. It longs for an avenue of expression, for experiences that feed us, for success, accomplishment, and growth. The very nature of creativity is expansion, but fear can drive it underground. It does not go away, it simply goes into hiding. In the process, however, we may depressed, frustrated, angry, or confused and as a result our life doesn’t go well. Our relationships flounder, our work life is not to our liking, our world looks dingy and fulfilling. We may even despair, or give up trying.
Wonderful post about liberating yourself Dorothy. Very inspiring for others to take a page from. 🙂
The Anais Nin quote. One of my favorites. I had it hanging over my desk for years. Thank you for posting it here. Excellent!
One of my favorites too!