Month: August 2015

50 Quotes By Wayne Dyer Worth Remembering

50 Quotes By Wayne Dyer Worth Remembering

                                           

Wayne Dyer

51fWIh1uaSL._SX321_BO1,204,203,200_ (1)I think Your Erroneous Zones was one of the first books I got so excited about I had to share it with everyone I knew. It just made so much sense! It helped me ditch a few layers of guilt and get to a few more important things. I listened to audios by Wayne Dyer when my husband lost his job and I had two small children. He inspired, guided and helped me dig myself out of the trenches time and time again. In the last decade his writings and thought have taken me further into a different perspective on spirituality – like many of the teachers that I’ve been reading, he too, found his way from getting it straight psychologically to the inevitability of a higher consciousness that included the Divine. There seems to be no way around the something more in the world and without dogma he lived a life that more than proved what he said to be true, was true. Universal truth. It’s all the same. The truth from one great teacher to another is always the same. Dr. Dyer gave me my first doable lessons in meditation so long ago. He made everything doable in his down to earth, real guy way. He will be missed, but his teachings will linger long after he is gone.

Books by Wayne Dyer

50 Memorable Quotes by Wayne Dyer

  1. “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”
  2. “You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be.” 
  3. “You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now.”
  4. “Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place you must find.”
  5. “Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.”
  6. “Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.”
  7. “You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”
  8. “Focus on what you have to give.”
  9. “Look for the blessing in all situations.”
  10. “Remain confident that through continued reliance on your imagination, your assumptions are materializing into reality.”
  11. “When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way. “
  12. “I am realistic – I expect miracles.
  13. “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”
  14. “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”
  15. “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”
  16. “Conflict cannot survive without your participation.”
  17.  “What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds.”
  18. “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.”
  19. “Begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul.” 
  20. “If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles.” 
  21. “Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you.”
  22. “Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last…. The future is not guaranteed.”
  23. “I cannot always control what goes on outside. But I can always control what goes on inside.”
  24. “Deficiency motivation doesn’t work. It leads to a life-long pursuit of try to fix me.”
  25. “The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness.”
  26. “Everything I need now is here.”
  27. “Within you is the divine capacity to manifest and attract all that you need and desire.”
  28. “Allow yourself the luxury of believing in the divinity of your own soul.”
  29. “The only limits you have, are the limits you believe.”
  30. “Love what you do. Do what you love.”
  31. “Mediocrity thrives on standardization.”
  32. “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”
  33. “‘There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.’ 
  34. “You can Light Up the Whole World by Giving without any Expectation Back.”
  35. “Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.
  36. “If you Are What you Do, then When you Don’t… you Aren’t!”
  37. “All blame is a waste of time.”
  38. “See the light in others, and treat them as if that is all you see.”
  39. “It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive.”
  40. “I release the need to determine how things ‘should’ be.”
  41. “When you know rather than doubt, you’ll discover the necessary ability to carry out your purpose.”
  42. “Whatever we think about and thank about, we bring about.”
  43. “Our lives are a sum total of the choices we have made.”
  44. “Practice being the kind of person you wish to attract.”
  45. “A mind at peace, a mind centered and not focused on harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.”
  46. “You cannot remedy anything by condemning it. You only add to the destructive energy that’s already permeating the atmosphere of your life.”
  47. “Truly believe in the potential for humans to live in peace and be receptive to all, and you’ll be someone who’s at peace and receptive to life’s possibilities.”
  48. “If you really want approval, stop thinking about yourself, and focus on reaching out and helping others.”
  49. “The qualities of creativity and genius are within you, awaiting your decision to match up with the power of intention.”
  50. “Don’t give mental energy to what others feel about how you should live your life. This can be a tough assignment at first, but you’ll the shift when it happens.”

Books by Wayne Dyer

We Are Not Our Bodies – RIP Dr. Wayne Dyer

We Are Not Our Bodies – RIP Dr. Wayne Dyer

Wayne DyerSuch a gift to a world struggling to make sense of itself. His words will live on long after his earthly life and we can continue to learn so much from his guidance and wisdom. I am deeply saddened by his sudden passing, and yet his message seems to have reached a pinnacle. His thought, his legacy, his spirit has traveled many miles in the short 75 years he was on this earth. I’m pretty sure he has other things to attend to now as we do our best to catch up with what time remains. I am deeply grateful for this great and gifted spiritual teacher. My condolences to all who mourn his passing. There are many. DS

Not Talking Is Not Silence

Not Talking Is Not Silence

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I have been mostly silent much of my life. As an introvert who grew up in a family who couldn’t hear me and in a world who didn’t understand me, silence came naturally to me. Words didn’t form easily or readily no matter how much I willed them to. I tried with everything I had and everything I knew to speak into the world I lived, but the silence that befell me was both deafening and defeating. I found it more unbearable to speak and not be heard than to not speak at all.

This silence was anything but silent. The noise within me was a cacophony of sounds. There was the screaming cry of anguish. There was clanging and banging of anger and frustration. There were the many words that came to my mind that remained stuck there running in circles trying to drown out one another. There were loud torrents of retribution and shame, rivers of despair, waves of excitement, deep longings for release, passionate hope, unrelenting belief and a desperate commitment to love.

I had an English teacher, in eleventh grade I think, who once wrote on one of my homework assignments, “I see and sense that you have much to say. Why don’t you speak?” He was a progressive, late 60’s kind of English teacher who was more of a philosopher than a literature instructor. He engaged the class everyday on the pressing issues of the day. He dug behind our preconceptions, prodded us to think beyond the typical rhetoric and to express our deepest beliefs. I loved listening to the banter and back and forth in the classroom. I was surrounded by bright, verbal peers who were fired up about Viet Nam and who were passionate about freedom, peace, human rights, and equality. I had thoughts. Many of them. But I remained silent, often hating myself because I did so, feeling deep shame because I could not stand up to the test of the debate.

My silence has been both a curse and a blessing. It becomes less of a curse and more of a blessing as time goes on and have learn to accept myself and my true nature. I am also less silent for sure as added years often release even the most reluctant speakers.  Not speaking has taught me to listen. It has taught me to watch and wait. It has taught me patience. It has taught me to look for answers within myself. Not talking has helped me discover the meaning of true silence in a world that prefers to talk itself into the ground. I respect silence now, when once I cursed it. I have reverence for the quietude that all of us are capable of and wherein lies our deepest truth and strength.

I  posted something controversial on my Facebook page a couple of days ago and suddenly my page was buried in words and rhetoric. I weeded through the dialogue trying to pick out what was helpful to the debate, there was so much that was not. Anger, name calling, defensive behavior, posturing, fear, hurt feelings. In the end there was no meeting of the minds, no common ground to be found, no gains in understanding, just words spread across a page. Very little listening took place. It seems this way of settling issues in our country has become the norm. Would that everyone would just be silent and take action instead; do what one’s heart calls one to do; no conversation is really needed or necessary to go where our inner guide leads.

Conversation and dialogue over issues facing us stirs the pot. It keeps us thinking about things. It also confuses and angers us. It muddies the water. It diverts our attention from the truth. It spreads a cloud so thick that other options can’t be found. Like silence, it is a blessing and a curse. When it comes to silence, however, Caroline Myss gives us something to work toward, something to aspire to, a place within us that is a treasure to be found. I still usually choose silence during debates. I choose to listen, reflect, weed through and weigh and measure the words of others against my own heart. In the end, acting from our own conscience and heart is what we are meant to do.


If you are an introvert I highly recommend Quiet – The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking – for current research and a rich understanding of the nature of introversion.

 

There’s No Such Thing As A Perfect Marriage/Relationship

There’s No Such Thing As A Perfect Marriage/Relationship

Lovers
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I continue to be surprised by women over fifty who are still looking for that perfect someone. I admit that I might be doing the same under different circumstances, but I have been in a marriage for thirty-four years and I’ve learned that what is often said is true. There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship.  Perfection is a construct, one of the shadows many of us live under that draws us away from the truth. If we are dissatisfied with our relationship(s) it’s an indication that it’s time to take a deep, hard look at ourselves. Relationships push us harder than anything else in life to dig deep and dig often into who we really are and to own what we know to be true. It requires that we be honest with ourselves.  Honesty supersedes resentment. When resentment builds we are in a mindset that falsely believes that another is the cause of our unhappiness.  If it weren’t for you, then I’d be fine. Passing the buck leads to many divorces, I suspect.

It is as difficult to be joyous, peaceful, and comfortable with another human being as it is to be do so on one’s own. We cannot and will not be at peace with another until or unless we are at peace with ourselves. Therein lies the challenge of marriage. Marriage take honesty, self-esteem, courage, the willingness to be vulnerable and the ability to bear the shame of making a mistake. It takes telling the truth, owning our own feelings and beliefs even when they are not pretty; it requires taking a good look at who we are as individuals and what we create together. It’s staying committed to riding the waves and surviving the storms…together.  We are surprised when we find that many of the storms are taking place within the relationship, within the dynamics of two people just trying to love and understand one another. We come to the erroneous conclusion that something is fundamentally wrong with the relationship when this happens.  It is quite likely that there is something wrong with our relationship with ourselves.

There are dynamics in every relationship, both good and bad. We like the same movies, we hate that the other leaves his/her shoes in the middle of the living room for us to trip over. We love his courage, strength and commitment to his work; we hate that he doesn’t have the self-confidence to own all that he is. It bugs us more if we are not owning all that we are. It irritates us more if we also leave our shoes lying around.

We may see our spouses flaws more readily than we see their strengths when we are feeling out of sorts. When life is good, so are they. I have always encouraged my friends to seek love – endlessly if they have to – because I believe in love. I am committed to love in all avenues of my life. But, love is not always what we think it is when we’re in the midst of our longing. I used to fall in love regularly, with people, ideas, fads, movies. Love came easily to me. Enthusiasm for something thrilling swept me away. I dove head first into new endeavors for the love of it – for the way a new idea made me feel. I needed to feel good to help alleviate the pain.  This feeling of being caught up in, enamored by, infatuated with is a wonderful feeling, but it is a bit of a psychosis.  It has all of the same characteristics. In other words, we are not seeing reality in those moments. We are not seeing the whole picture. I believe we should savor these moments, though I experience them less often than I did in my younger days, perhaps because my pain is not quite as deep, but we must not depend on them. We must mourn their loss when the ride is over and move onto a deeper, richer connection.

When looking for a long-term relationship it will always be the friendship that two people have, the genuine knowing of one another that carries them through. Not the sparks, the great sex, or the feelings of love. Feelings of love are elusive, as all feelings are. They are not a reliable source of commitment, nor will they always be present to guide us through the rough patches. When we look in another’s eyes and see our self, our soul reflected back to us, then we have everything we need to carry us forward. It is not a look of infatuation, of adoration, or a glassy-eyed connection. It is an honesty that makes us feel vulnerable, scared even, but true. Most of us never dare to really look at another and experience them looking deeply at us. In long-term relationships, really looking at one another falls by the wayside as habits of connection take its place. This is a mistake. We must look often and look long. This is how we stay connected to the heart of the relationship itself. It is how we stay connected to our vulnerability. That is where the truth lies in every relationship.

Habit, Routine, Schedule, Practice, Discipline – Will They Change Your Life?

Habit, Routine, Schedule, Practice, Discipline – Will They Change Your Life?

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“Intention without discipline is useless.”   Caroline Myss 

from Entering the Castle: Finding the Inner Path to God and Your Soul’s Purpose

Habits are, you know, habit-forming! They start as something we do or try, and after an extended period of time, end up as a mindless part of our life, like brushing our teeth, putting on our shoes, putting the key in the ignition or front door, smoking, eating, drinking and a myriad of other activities that have become like breathing air. They can be good, bad or indifferent. Do they have consequences? You bet.

Routines are bigger. They help us flow through life in a mindless fashion. Every morning we get up at 7, eat breakfast at 7:15, walk the dog at 7:30, pack our lunch and leave for work by 8:00. Routines are made up of little habits that have become a comfortable way of life. Changing our routine takes forethought and effort and if done too abruptly may cause us a bit of discomfort.

Schedules are even bigger than routines. They can  be looked at as a variety of routines with a few random activities thrown in the mix in a preconceived pattern. They also help our lives run more smoothly. Like habits and routines, schedules are little decisions that structure our days and our lives. They may make us very productive, but do not necessarily make us better people.

This is the job of practices and disciplines. A practice, in the sense that I am talking about here, is something we choose to do that focuses on an outcome that enriches our lives and makes us better people. They are such things as meditating, mindfulness, reflective writing or reading, silence, meditative walking, praying, and a variety of other similar activities. We call then practices because even if they become a part of our routine they continue to require work and attention. We can always go deeper with them. They don’t contain us, they expand us.

Disciplines are practices that have become a part of our lives in a significant fashion. They require continued effort, focus and a considerable amount of inner strength. They bring us even deeper into ourselves and the world of the spirit.

Which one(s) will change you? Which ones have changed you? In what ways?

 

I STILL Honor You Robin Williams – July 21, 1951 to August 11, 2014

I STILL Honor You Robin Williams – July 21, 1951 to August 11, 2014

Robin WilliamsToo little has been said about Robin Wiliams’ suicide. Too little has been done to honor his life. I sense a world uncertain and confused about how to respond to his suicide, or how they “should” feel, and so they remain silent. Still caught in the archaic notion that depression and suicide are choices we make, sympathy, compassion and understanding are lacking. We are too often a heartless society, unable to rise above our baser instincts, our judgments, our egos.

Robin William’s death could have been a launch pad for vitally important and valuable conversations about mental health, depression, suicide, medically induced suicide, the emotional and mental aspects of illnesses such as  Parkinson’s and Dementia, how we allow advertising and drug companies to determine what is best for us, how doctor’s too often do the same. His death could have been an addition to his legacy, not an embarrassing post-script.

I was stunned by the lack of honor paid to this talented man and his incredible body of work at this year’s awards ceremonies.  When it came to the segment honoring those lost during the year, his picture seemed to be thrown in at the end, like an afterthought,  as if they were debating right up to show time whether or not to include him.  The fact that he died at his own hand seemed to somehow tarnish his legacy.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the reasons behind his suicide were thrashed about as hotly on the internet as Donald Trump’s current insult to our collective intelligence are now? I didn’t see it, and I’m present here every day more than I often would like to be.  A few spoke up at the time of his death, like Dean Burnett’s article in The Guardian, Robin Williams’s death: a reminder that suicide and depression are not selfish, otherwise the topic was dropped quickly; a lack of consensus perhaps, or a lack of understanding.

Robin Williams’ death was ruled a suicide. That is the black and white of medical science. It’s not the whole story. It never is. News reporting didn’t seem to want to go the distance. US Today reported:

The official cause of Williams death, released Friday by the Marin County coroner, was ruled a suicide by hanging, with no evidence of alcohol or illegal drugs in his system and only therapeutic concentrations of prescribed medications.

 

Williams had long battled alcoholism, drug addiction and depression, but in November 2013 he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, according to his widow, after noticing a tremor in his left arm and difficulty moving on his left side as early as 2011.

 

Now a redacted pathology report from the autopsy on Williams’ body has been made public and it mentions Lewy body disease, a newly recognized disorder similar to Parkinson’s.

My mother-in-law who died a little over two years ago, and who was born on August 11th, the  same day on which Robin Williams life ended, was also diagnosed with Parkinson’s. She was given powerful doses of medication that created a vast array of difficult side affects, including anxiety, depression, and hallucinations. Several years into treatment the doctor said, “Oh, sorry, my mistake. You don’t have Parkinson’s.”

We need to question our medical practitioners with increasing frequency and regularity about the drugs they are prescribing, too often without respect for the consequences.  We must continue to be pro-active in our health care, questioning, reading, researching and evaluating in addition to seeking the advice of a professional. We need to stop being so agreeable and willing to accept whatever the multi-billion dollar drug industry prescribes for us, because the drug companies, more often than not, are dictating what doctor’s are prescribing and/or inducing us to ask for them.  They convince us with their expensive advertising that we need their product, much like McDonald’s, and the ill effects may be just as inauspicious.

DoubtfireIn addition, we need to continue to look harder at the underlying causes of mental illness. It is not always a difficult childhood, a trauma, a confused identity alone that leads to depression and suicide. These things may only be the precipitating factor behind a biological imbalance, or vice versa; a biological imbalance that may be corrected by diet, supplements, or remedies other than the chemicals prescribed by drug companies.

Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications have served their purpose and continue to do so for many, during a time in history when they were the best option available to us. Now, however, research is reaching further every day into the body/mind connection. Let’s start listening to their findings and following common sense at least as often as we follow big business and advertising.

Lewy Body Dementia, the disease Robin Williams actually had, causes hhallucinations, visuospatial abnormalities, and other psychiatric disturbances. As mentioned above, Parkinson’s medications can cause these types of problems as well. Should he not have been monitored more carefully?

Robin Williams’ life was a gift. I hope one day I will be able to watch Mrs. Doubtfire without a deep sadness lurking behind each laugh; or Hook without wishing this vibrant life was still dancing across the screen. I don’t think I will ever force myself to decide which of his movies I love the best. Each expressed a piece of him.  How rich a life he lived; how very much of himself he gave in the process. We should all live so boldly. In light of such a life,  does the end really matter? I honor you Robin Williams.