Tag: children

Mothers Letting Go

Mothers Letting Go

Mother's Day

“The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.”  Erich Fromm

Many of us are in the phase of “letting go” of our role as mothers. The hardest part is often where allowing our children to be independent and make their own decisions conflicts with our need to protect, guide and love; when our children cut the strings and pull away. We feel the loss acutely, and yet, that is our job. We must set them free to make their own mistakes just as we have made our own.

We must never forget, however, that they will always need the love and acceptance of a mother’s love. When we set the example of unconditional love they will grow a mother within themselves that carries them far beyond the length of our years and our presence in their lives. Holding them loosely in our hearts through the years of growing independence gives them a safe haven in a storm when they need it while allowing them to grow into the adults we long for them to become.

When our children no longer needs us, we must grieve and let them go. Still, we must never forget that our role as mother never ends. We need never stop sharing our mother love. We only need turn our attention elsewhere. Children needing love spill out of every crack and crevice throughout the world. If we look carefully, we will see the unloved child in the cashier at the grocery store, the grumpy mailman that always messes up our mail, the young woman whose husband abuses her, the little boy acting up in church, and in face after face of those we encounter briefly or every day. The wounded children of the world need the love of a mother to grow strong and whole. If your heart is full of mother’s love and your children no longer seem to need it, let it spill over on the world around you.

Download your copy of my book, Finding Hope today, as my gift to you. (Offer expires at midnight tonight. 5-10-15.  I think you’ll find a little extra strength, guidance and hope between the pages that may just take you through the hard moments of “letting go” to a new place of acceptance and outward of expression of mother’s love.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Holidays from Aging Abundantly

Happy Holidays from Aging Abundantly

Christmas Secret by Donald Zolan
Christmas Secret by Donald Zolan

Dear Friends,

The real meaning of this holiday season, at least for me, can be found in the joy and laughter of young children.  In their faces we can see the purity of hope, untarnished by life’s eventualities. Their excitement is contagious and their belief that anything is possible is palpable.

We have all received a painful reminder of what the world can do to innocence. Last week’s tragic events has evoked a guttural cry from deep within the hearts and souls of men and women everywhere.  The untarnished images of those angels lost tugs not only on our emotions but on our conscience.

Children speak every day, everywhere. They have a message for us. Are we listening? Do we hear their voices? Understand what they have to teach us? Or have we fallen deaf, not only to their voices, but to the voice of the child that lives within each of us.

This holiday season, let’s take a moment to listen to the children, to still the voice of the culture, the “adult”  dictates and beliefs that would deem themselves of greater importance. Let’s turn down the volume on external directives and listen to the sound of innocence. It is the real gift of the season.

Wishing you and yours a warm and joy filled holiday season.

Dorothy Sander
Aging Abundantly


“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.” ~ Frederich Nietzsche