Tag: memoir

GRANDDAD and the SUMMER SOLSTICE – A Memoir Moment

GRANDDAD and the SUMMER SOLSTICE – A Memoir Moment

granddad
Morris Shallcross Wickersham 1947

It’s the summer solstice and my grandmother’s birthday. The connection seems absolutely right, though I know little about her. My mother told me stories of her love of nature. . . a gift passed down from generation to generation. Now, as I watch my son till and plant his garden I see the circle of life unfolding. I never knew my grandmother – she died before I was born – as did all of my grandparents except one: Granddad.

My grandfather, my mother’s father, lived with us all of my life. My first memory of Granddad was of him carrying me on his shoulders to the chicken coop.  I was two.  Granddad and the chicken coop were a thing. It was who he was around town. He raised chickens and sold the eggs to the local people for pocket change. That is, until we moved to Maine where there were no chicken coops. During the dark winter days he took to washing dishes and canning chairs. Occasionally, he watched over me while my mother was at a church function or a tea party. He fed me poached eggs with too much salt as I sat in front of the TV.  I didn’t say a word. Granddad was hard of hearing and I didn’t like shouting at him.  People did not hear me anyway. Silence was my modus operandi.

We moved again right before my ninth birthday. The weather was warmer in our new home further south, but still no chicken coop. Instead Granddad spent hours on his knees in the front yard, hunched over digging dandelions out of the grass with his pocket knife – in a white shirt and tie. It was what he wore every day. It was always Sunday in his world, and each morning began with the sound of his straight razor against the razor strop that hung from his bedroom door. Once in a while I’d sneak in to his room and watch him lather up his shaving brush and paint his face in great dobs of smooth white froth. I so wanted him to dob some on my face too!

Slender and almost 6 feet tall, Granddad was number eight in our family. He made us an even-numbered family. I don’t recall him ever being sick, except once when I was eleven. He was ninety-two. He laid in bed for two weeks with a mysterious illness. The doctor came and went and talked in a conspiratorial whisper with my mother in the kitchen. There was no discussion of what was wrong with Granddad except that he wasn’t feeling well.

One night a kerfuffle coming from his bedroom woke me up. Before I could decide whether or not to get up, I heard my mother’s feet scurrying down the hall. I lie in bed, beneath the safety of my covers, listening to the activity but discovering nothing about its cause. After a time the racket stopped and I drifted back to sleep. Over breakfast my mother told my Dad how Granddad thought the trash can was on fire. She had to take it into the bathroom and run the water to convince him that it wasn’t.  The trash can wasn’t on fire at all, but Granddad’s imagination was!

Finally, after two weeks, he got up, got dressed in his white shirt and tie and stretched out on the couch in the living room. When I passed by on the way to the kitchen for breakfast he was fast asleep. I was encouraged. He was getting well at last. I poured my cereal as my mother washed the dishes. “Granddad’s up!” I said. “He’s dressed and napping on the couch!”.

“He’s not napping, dear,” she said. That afternoon the undertaker came and took him away. Family members always seemed to leave just as I arrived.

INTERLUDE: WHAT IS NEXT?

INTERLUDE: WHAT IS NEXT?

TIME FOR AN INTERLUDE in the Voices of Wisdom Series

late blooming writerI hope you have been enjoying the The Voices of Wisdom Series! I know I have been enjoying reading and sharing the stories of these courageous and magnificent women and I’m so grateful to them for taking the time to share a slice of their lives here with you. We will be taking a short interlude while I take a few weeks to travel, finish my book and collect my thoughts.  In case you missed any of the posts, here’s a recap:

Week One: Debbie Gies, Author shared with us her thoughts on gratitude.

Week Two: Kathleen Pooler gave us a glimpse into her dark night of the soul and insights she gained. 

Week Three: I reviewed three memoirs written by women coming to terms with abuse. 

Week Four: Author Joan Rough shares her thoughts on Harvesting Wisdom.

Week Five: Writer and author Lucinda Sage-Midgorden shares a bit of her journey to becoming a writer and author. 

Week Six: Madeline Sharples, writer, editor and author tells us how she turned grief into art.

WHAT’S NEXT?

The series will begin again on October 5th at which time I will introduce you to another group of women with wisdom to share. In the meantime, I am heading west for two or three weeks and wrapping up the publication of my new book. It’s completely done and ready to go, I just can’t seem to settle on a title! It’s really hard to create a cover without a title! I am sure it will happen sooner or later.

[tweetthis display_mode=”box”]“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh[/tweetthis]

I am a Late Blooming Writer. I carried the urgent desire to write in a corner of my soul that I set aside again and again.  I did write, but only for myself. I wrote my first poem when I was five. It was about a daffodil.  School interrupted my creative musings and the natural flow of my life. I did not write again, creatively, until I was in high school. Teenage angst drove me back to pen and paper and began releasing the music within me in private lyrical musings, shared with no one.

I’d certainly learned very early in life that I had “no talent” for writing. In fact, I was pretty certain i didn’t have much “talent” for anything. What a ridiculous concept when you think about it. What is talent after all? We are all gifted in one way or another, but it is how and if our gifts are birthed that matters. Too often they lie dormant, abandoned as the world snuffs out our candle. Just children when it begins. Impressionable, pliable children in need of love and guidance. I digress.

[tweetthis]”We are all gifted. That is our inheritance.” Ethel Waters #quote[/tweetthis]

mask
Mask de Venice

From my teen years on I wrote stacks of journals and reams of poetry. My desire to write lived and breathed even though I lived life as something entirely other than a writer. That is until I midlife when I melted down and dove into the fire of change. It was a metamorphosis. Bit by bit, piece by piece I took off the masks I wore and gingerly stepped back into the world as my true self. My goal, my burning desire, has been and will always be to match my insides with my outsides. This is not easy in a world run amok, but it is worth the effort.  I tell you this for a few reasons.

LATE BLOOMING WRITERS

First, I am ardent supporter of late-blooming writers and have been doing so through the Aging Abundantly Writer’s Meet Up private group on Facebook. I also do private coaching as time permits. Writers desperately need support. It’s a solitary endeavor and it’s easy to lose perspective. I’m also teaming up with Christy Steiger, Writer, Teacher, Editor and every writer’s dream writing companion — at least writers like me. She gets it. She understands the writing process from a practical standpoint and is a wizard at un-sticking the stuck. You can meet Christy now in the Writer’s group. I will be introducing her on the site asap. We will both be blogging about writing and the unique needs of the over fifty writer on the Aging Abundantly sister website LateBloomingWriters.com. If you are a writer looking for guidance, support and inspiration, I hope you’ll join us there and on Facebook.

COMING SOON: Book Without A Title by Dorothy Sander

Stay tuned!

HARVESTING WISDOM by Author Joan Rough

HARVESTING WISDOM by Author Joan Rough

I’m excited to introduce today’s Voices of Wisdom feature contributor Joan Z Rough.  I met Joan through her wonderful blog where she writes regularly about life and “harvesting wisdom”.  I was drawn to the honesty of her voice and our mutual struggle with PTSD. Her voice of wisdom is strong and growing stronger with each passing year. I can’t wait to read her memoir Scattering Ashes, A Memoir of Letting Go will be available September 20, 2016, already receiving great reviews.

Joan describes herself  as “a wife, mother, grandmother, writer, blogger, gardener, artist, healthy food nut, and someone who loves all creatures, especially dogs.” She’s addicted to books, good movies and most especially her grand-kids. There is so much more to Joan that what she does. I will let her tell you the rest of the story. 

 

HARVESTING WISDOM

by Joan Z Rough

Harvesting Wisdom

By three methods we may learn wisdom:

First, by reflection, which is noblest;

Second, by imitation, which is easiest;

and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

Confucius

Pearls of wisdom are things we harvest like grapes. We crush them into small bits, allow them to ferment, remove the waste products, and set the rest aside, allowing the resulting liquid to age. By the time we are elders, what we have is a rich, vintage wine, heady with notes of contemplation, emulation, and awareness.

We begin harvesting wisdom the moment we are born. We learn about the world from the way it tastes, smells, looks, and feels.  By the time we’re two or three years old the feel of a wet diaper may begin to annoy us. We follow our parent’s example, and begin to pee in a toilet. If we hold it for too long because we’re having fun playing with our favorite toys, we wet ourselves, and are then made fun of by friends and/or siblings. We suddenly understand that in order to keep from being humiliated, we need to pay attention to the messages our body sends us so that we don’t have to suffer from insults.

I’ll be seventy-four in November and have been harvesting wisdom all of my life. However, you’d never know it based on my behavior through the years. As a child, I was willful and stubborn, yet filled with fear and shame. As an adolescent I became a practiced liar, sneaking about, disobeying, and avoiding my parents as best I could. During most of my adulthood, I carried the scars and the dysfunction that both of my parents bequeathed me; a life built of shame, anger, hate, blame, fear, and victim-hood.

“I believed there was something terribly wrong with me.”

I’ve been unhappy for a good part of my life. Periods of sheer joy and happiness were often washed away by unfathomable depression and torrents of fear and anxiety. I didn’t know why. I believed there was something terribly wrong with me. That I was broken. Damaged goods. Undeserving of anything more than what I already had.

It all came to a head when I became my mother’s caregiver during her last seven years of life. Except for her last six months, she lived with my husband and me. Mom held tight to her fear and denial of death while I tried my best to make life as pleasant as I could for her. When memories of her mistreatment of me as a child began seeping out of the hiding places I had tucked them away in, I grew to hate her and found myself more depressed and anxious than ever. It wasn’t until after her death, that I realized that something had to change in order for me to be happy. If I didn’t I’d go to my grave a sorry soul, hauling my past with me, like a trunk of old clothes that no longer fit.

My goal was to remake myself into a whole and happy human being and to let go of old memories that had almost destroyed me. I took time to examine where I had been and what I had done with my life. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and began seeing a therapist, whose specialty was trauma. She helped me understand that I had been an abused child. That the belief that I had a normal upbringing was a fairy tale, and that I could be whole and happy if I chose to be.

“The more I wrote, the more things came to the surface.”

Harvesting WisdomAfter unending months of digging through the past and trying to find medication that might help me over the panic and overwhelming feelings I carried with me, I began writing out what I knew. The more I wrote, the more things came to the surface. They were things I had hidden from myself because they were painful. Taking an excruciating look back through the years, I saw myself being beaten by my father, while screaming for my mother to stop him. I finally understood the basis for my contempt for her. She never stopped him.

Along with the unearthing of the past, I found acceptance for who I am. I discovered the words and experiences that can trigger negative reactions in me. I began navigating through my days more easily, choosing between what made me feel good and what brought on my anxiety. I questioned my parent’s lives when they were younger, and uncovered the massive extent to which my mother had been abused by her mother. I already knew that my father suffered from PTSD due to his experiences during World War II. But it wasn’t until I myself was diagnosed with the same disorder that I found compassion for him, as well as for my mother.

Regrets followed. I wanted to go back and make it all better. But equipped with tools and knowledge my parents never had, I was better prepared to realize that they had done the best they could. Though I knew I couldn’t change the past and could never forget their mistreatment of me, I let go of my victim-hood. I found love, forgiveness and a deep understanding of them, myself, and the human spirit.

When people hear my story, some comment on what a hard life I’ve had. But I always let them know that though it was tough at times, without the adversity I’ve lived with, I’d never have found myself and the peace I live with now.

It isn’t through sitting in the sun and smelling the roses that one learns and gathers wisdom. It’s through hard knocks, the fermentation and aging processes that we learn how to change ourselves and the world we live in. 

Here’s to the good life, both yours and mine!


Harvesting Wisdom

CONNECT WITH JOAN:

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SCATTERING ASHES, A Memoir of Letting Go
will be available wherever books are sold on September 20, 2016
and is now available for preorder on Amazon and Barnes & Noble

 

WHAT EARLY READERS ARE SAYING:

“A brave story, beautifully written in an authentic, raw voice that strikes a universal chord about mother-daughter relationships, breaking the cycle of childhood abuse, taking the responsibility for one’s own healing and finding forgiveness.” KATHLEEN POOLER, Author of Ever Faithful To His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse

“In this well-wrought memoir, Joan Rough shows us the beauty of becoming the alchemist of one’s own life. What happens after she invites her elderly, narcissistic mother to move in to her home will often set your teeth on edge. The amazing ending, however, will leave you standing in awe at the power of love.” SHIRLEY HERSHEY SHOWALTER, author of Blush: A Mennonite Girl Meets a Glittering World

MORE ABOUT SCATTERING ASHES

STORIES OF COURAGE & SURVIVAL– ABUSE — Women of Wisdom Series™

STORIES OF COURAGE & SURVIVAL– ABUSE — Women of Wisdom Series™

abuse
Audubon Socity

As part of The Women of Wisdom Series™, I am introducing three memoirs, each addressing the issue of abuse. Though the stories are different, the message is in many ways the same.  Each memoir sheds light on the impact of abuse on us and provides lessons in survival. The women describe their journeys from a place of strength and courage, characteristics they undoubtedly honed through their difficulties.

These women are people just like you and I and what I love about memoirs. Thanks to modern technology, and the increase of Indy Publishing, we are able to see into the lives of everyday people  It’s so exciting  that women are stepping up, one by one, and sharing their stories. They benefit from the telling, we benefit from the listening.

We all can learn from an author with a compelling story to tell. It doesn’t matter whether or not the book is worthy of a literary award. What matters is what we take away. Memoirs by women over fifty to speak to the courage, fortitude, persistence and enduring love, characteristics that the women of our time, and our generation, exhibit every day . These stories give me courage. The author’s endurance gives me hope. Memoirs help us make sense of our own lives.

Women have suffered enormous wounding at the hands of those who had power over them. I count myself among the survivors and like most women who carry scars, we continue to learn a little more each day how to thrive. Like Kelly Clarkson reminds us, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” … and I might add much, much wiser.

COMING NEXT WEDNESDAY: “Harvesting Wisdom” by author Joan Rough

[tweetthis]Throughout history women have been abused. It has not only made them stronger, but wiser.[/tweetthis]

 

abuseEVER FAITHFUL TO HIS LEAD:  My Journey Away from Emotional Abuse by Kathleen Pooler

Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away from Emotional Abuse is a compelling read written by a strong and courageous woman. Pooler’s story drew me in from page one and held my attention to the end.  She paints a clear  picture of her life as a victim and the inherent quagmire of confusion, denial, hope, despair, anger, self-recrimination, and blame that naturally ensues.  Pooler never wallows in the angst of it all, rather draws her readers into her quest for understanding, truth and freedom from victim-hood.

Women who came of age in the fifties and sixties were taught to be obedient, faithful, caring, helpmates to their spouse – we were taught to be “ever faithful to his lead”. We also were growing day by day in self-awareness and learning to value ourselves as intelligent, creative, capable people.

Breaking free of abusive relationships became, during our generation, more possible and doable than ever before. Kathy Pooler is one such woman and tells her story, in a clear and steady style that co-mingles her challenges with her emerging understanding.

Pooler just touches on the role her roots of faith played in her emancipation.  I’m sure she will have much more to say about this in her next memoir, now in progress.

Connect with Kathleen Pooler.

 

abuse GHOST NO MORE: A True Story of Child Abuse and Rescue by Cee Cee James

Cee Cee James tells a heartbreaking story without a trace of self-pity. The account of her life as a child in a home without love will rock your world and renew your faith in the power of the human spirit to survive.

A little girl, desperate for her mother’s love, Cee Cee James brings us into the day-to-day world of the child victimized by a parent. We experience the workings of the child’s mind struggling to survive emotional and physical abuse.  James reveals through the lens of her story the sad truth that children will suffer enormous abuse at the hands of a parent and still strive to win acceptance, approval and most of all love – even when it is never, ever forthcoming.  It broke my heart to see this little girl take the tiniest hope and run with it, only to see it dashed against the rocks of a woman’s inability to love her child.

As difficult as this book was to read, I could not put it down. The life force in this little girl was so strong and fierce and carried me forward to the end.

MORE BOOKS BY CEE CEE JAMES

 

 

 

 

abuseCONFLICTED HEARTS: A Daughter’s Quest for Solace from Emotional Guilt by D.G. Kaye

A girl’s relationship with her mother lasts a lifetime, but it is often not until we reach midlife that the complexity of a difficult connection comes into focus. What we come to believe about ourselves as adults through our interactions with our mother’s as children, is often not an accurate reflection of who we really are. This conflict, this inner disparity, either drives us toward disintegration or the truth.

D.G. Kaye took on this battle. In her book, Conflicted Hearts, she shares her story as she struggles to come to terms with her challenging and complex relationship with a mother she both loved and despised. It is a journey that all of us can relate to in one way or another. Kaye writes with honesty, candor, humor and courage as she peels back the layers and gains understanding and perspective. In the end we not only learn about the author, we learn about ourselves and may even come to see our own mother/daughter relationship a more clearly.

Sit down with a cup of coffee or tea, and enjoy this journey into one woman’s world. When you put down the book, you will feel as though you’ve gained a friend.

Connect with D.G. Kaye

 

 

 

 

If you would like to be a contributor to The Voices of Wisdom Series, please check out the

Writer’s Guidelines. 

More Posts of Interest

You Are Not Broken

Mask of Perception – When Things Are Not As They Seem

THE VALUE OF GRATITUDE – Voices of Wisdom Guest Post

THE VALUE OF GRATITUDE – Voices of Wisdom Guest Post

Voices of Wisdom
Canvas print “ Tawny Owl, Scotland | by: { Ronald Coulter } ”

Wisdom comes with the ability to be still. Just look and just listen. No more is needed. Being still, looking, and listening activates the non-conceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions.

ECKHART TOLLE

I’m so happy to introduce Debbie Gies, our first contributor to the The Voices of Wisdom Series.  Debbie, an author and prolific writer, captured my attention somewhere in cyberspace.  I  was drawn to her enthusiasm for life and read her book, Conflicted Hearts, a memoir in which her strength and courage is made visible and her zest for life contagious.

The Voices of Wisdom Series is an ongoing series featuring guest posts by women of wisdom. Each guest will share some piece of wisdom gleaned from their life challenges. Stay tuned. We have more captivating reads ahead!

Next week: Kathleen Pooler, author of Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away from Emotional Abuse will share how her “Dark Night of the Soul” drew her into a richer spiritual life.

If you would like to be a contributor to Voices of Wisdom Series, contact me via email DSander@AgingAbundantly.com or in a message via FB or Twitter (@AgingAbundantly).  WRITER’S GUIDELINES  

Thank you Debbie, for being a part of  Voices of Wisdom!


My Journey Through Mid-Life and What I Learned

By Debbie Gies

Have you ever been on a ride that was completely smooth – no bumps, no valleys, and no inclines? I can say with certainty that I haven’t, and naturally, my journey through mid-life was no exception.

When I was young, I thought I was invincible. My plans to battle age developed decades before I hit my mid-life years. My arsenal of age-fighters were nothing short of trying to maintain a healthy eating and exercise regime, and an ongoing supply of whatever beauty aids, creams, potions, and lotions I would read about, in efforts to preserve myself from aging.

But the truth is, aging is a natural process of life. And, it entails much more than just our physical attributes. As I transitioned into my middle years, many things changed. My perceptions and values changed, my evaluations on friendships changed, even my tolerances and gratitudes changed.

Time became more apparent; not all of these things happened simultaneously, but as the hands of time began pointing in the direction of fifty, I noticed several changes within myself.

I BECAME MORE AWARE OF PASSING TIME

Although the healthy measures I adapted to when I was younger were moderately paying off, staving off wrinkles as best I could, my attitude towards life in general had changed. I became a lot more aware of how quickly the days were passing, and how illness can change life in a flash. And I became concerned about the fact that I hadn’t accomplished anything that made me feel like I would be leaving my footprints behind when it came time for me to go to the next world. I felt time closing in on me.

I began spending a lot more time reading about spirituality. I was trying to regain a sense of faith and to stay focused on being positive, particularly in dark times when my imagination would get the best of me with worries and unpleasant dilemmas.

THE IMPORTANCE OF GRATITUDE

I became much more aware of the importance of gratitude; learning to be grateful for everything and everyone in my life, and for even the smallest  of victories and accomplishments – particularly for each subsequent birthday.

I grew to realize that when I didn’t want to go somewhere I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t have to go anymore, just to appease others. I re-evaluated friendships and found some were valuable, and some sucked the life out of me. I learned to walk away from the negative situations. I learned to say no to those who constantly took from me and had given nothing in return.

A HEALTH CRISIS

I mentioned birthdays because as I grew into my forties, the passing years began to scare me; fearing each birthday signaled the remaining years in my life were becoming less. I also learned how when people have a life-threatening health scare, the incident can become a wake-up call for our gratitude. I realized this after undergoing open-heart surgery to remove a tumor on one of my valves in my mid-forties. The experience reminded me again, about how short life really is, and had me questioning myself about what I’d done in life, and what I still wanted to accomplish if I was given the chance to live. I discovered a new appreciation for how valuable my time was, and I vowed to spend it being happy and positive.

My husband has a saying that began resonating with me profoundly, “You need to celebrate each birthday because it’s a reminder you’re on the right side of the green.” Prior to my surgery, I used to lament and complain about having another birthday and getting older. But I realized how right he was when I was suddenly faced with the thought that perhaps there would be no more birthdays. We should never shun our birthdays. We must celebrate them in gratitude for our life, for how far we’ve come, how much we’ve conquered in our life, and for how much we’re loved and appreciated by the people in our lives.

“Life is what we make of it.”

Life is what we make of it. Time is short, as I notice the days whipping by like a freight train. I hadn’t accomplished things I wanted to do, but learned abusethat as long as I was gifted with a tomorrow, I had to do things that made me happy.

I knew in my soul, I was born to write. I dabbled in it for decades without taking a serious approach to it. In my forties, it became a nagging desire. I needed to write books. I reviewed my life experiences, and realized I hadn’t settled down and focused on writing books because I was too busy socializing, and couldn’t discipline myself to write. As my late forties approached, gifted with my second chance in life, I felt compelled to follow my dream. I worked hard at staying focused on writing, while learning the self-publishing business. I began writing my first book. Now, I’m on my way to publishing my fifth book.

[tweetthis]It’s never too late to follow your dreams. [/tweetthis]

I now feel as though I’ve left some sort of contribution from my existence to the world. I’ve created footprints.

D.G. Kaye©2016

 “In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert

Voices of Wisdom

 

D.G. Kaye (Debbie Gies) is the author of Conflicted Hearts, Meno-What? A Memoir, Words We Carry, and Have Bags, Will Travel. She is a nonfiction writer of memoirs about life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

 

Please feel free to visit and follow Debbie: 

Website:   www.dgkayewriter.com

Amazon author page: www.amazon.com/author/dgkaye7

Goodreads page:  www.goodreads.com/dgkaye

Twitter:  www.twitter.com/pokercubster

Google:  www.google.com/+DebbyDGKayeGies

Linkedin:  www.linkedin.com/in/dgkaye7

Pinterest:  www.pinterest.com/dgkaye7

Instagram:  www.instagram.com/dgkaye

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/dgkaye

 

Check out her books and read first chapters:

Conflicted Hearts:                          www.smarturl.it/bookconflictedhearts

Words We Carry:                            www.smarturl.it/bookwordswecarry

MenoWhat? A Memoir:                 www.smarturl.it/bookMenowhatAMemoir

Have Bags, Will Travel                    www.smarturl.it/bookHaveBags

 

 

The Silence of Morning by D.H.Hickman – A Book Review

The Silence of Morning by D.H.Hickman – A Book Review

The Silence of Morning: A Memoir of Time UndoneSilence of Morning  is a powerful memoir of one mother’s struggle to come to terms with the sudden death of her son.  Filled with wisdom and insight, Hickman’s  writings can only be described as a  prayer, one that comes straight from the center of her broken heart.

The author dives fearlessly into the void created by her loss and does battle with herself, external reality, and all that is unseen. She knows instinctively, even if not consciously during the process, that she is not only searching for answers and some kind of palatable acceptance of her loss, but for the meaning of life itself.  She is searching for the voice of her soul.

HIckman’s philosophical  writing style does not belie the pain beneath her words, but it does keep  the book from being voyeuristic or maudlin. In every word she honors the memory of her son.  As she recounts the days before and after Matt’s death, she does not do so in tedious detail, but in poetic reflection, and the deep questioning that is her style. She writes with a heart that is strong and courageous, even when it is broken wide open.

Each question the author asks of herself, of the Universe, of Life Itself, the reader needs and wants answered as well. We wrestle along with Hickman as she travels through heartbreak, anger, frustration, sorrow, longing, and the ever-present search for understanding.  She wants a reason to keep on going, to find meaning and purpose in life again.

The Silence of Morning offers a glimpse into the transformative process.

Hickman givesSilence of Morning us a glimpse into the transformative process. Unspoken in the loss of her son, was the loss of life as she knew it. One can never return to a life of innocence before loss. When the unexpected happens, when loss occurs suddenly, no matter what the preamble, we are in some manner traumatized. Something has occurred that our reasoning minds cannot understand. As we grieve we struggle to understand that which cannot be understood, and as such it becomes a spiritual matter. Hickman knew instinctively, before she knew consciously,  that she would have to follow the transformative path if she were to come through her loss and still find meaning and purpose in her life.

The Silence of Morning: A Memoir of Time Undone ultimately offers readers not only an opportunity to explore their own losses but to do so in the context of transformation. It is hard work. It requires that we ask the hard questions and seek the unexpected answers. Daisy takes her readers on this journey. It is a powerful gift to those who long to articulate the depth of their pain and to find meaning in it. If you have experienced a dark night of the soul, if you have experienced loss or trauma, and even if you haven’t, The Silence of Morning offers you an opportunity to wrestle with the hard questions that we all must ask if we are to live a life worth living.

 

Connect with the author:

Silence of Morning
Daisy Hickman, author of The Silence of Morning, A Memoir of Time Undone At home in The Sunny Room Studio


Facebook: The Sunny Room Studio Page

Website: The Sunny Room Studio

Twitter: @MySunnyStudio


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