Caring for an aging parent is something few people find easy. It’s a complete role reversal, both for the parent and child. The older generation has to give up independence and control, while the younger needs to look after someone who has always looked after them. It’s a very challenging situation that often leads to stress and conflict. If your elderly parent has started to need help staying healthy and safe, then you may be feeling unsure about the next steps to take. Here are ten things that you can do to minimize any problems and make the transition easier for all.
1. Do Plenty Of Research
Before you can care for your parent effectively, you have to understand their everyday needs. If they suffer from an illness or injury, learn as much about it as you can. This can be potentially upsetting, but it will help you to prepare for what is to come. You can find lots of information online, but for the most reliable advice, speak to doctors and care providers. Make sure that this information is passed on to anyone else helping you to care for your parent.
2. Understand Your Own Abilities
Everyone’s lives are different, and at a different point in their journey. For this reason, you can’t agree to care for your parent until you know that you are able to. If you are sick yourself, struggling financially, or work every day, then professional help may be the best idea. This might mean hiring a live-in caregiver or finding a care home for your parent, like Arthurs Senior Care. If you can’t provide the best care yourself, then find someone who can.
3. Include Them In Decisions
Nobody wants to lose control of their life, especially someone who has spent the entirety of their’s caring for others. Because of this, it’s vital that you include your parent in their care plans as much as you can. This will help them see you as more of a partner than a controller, making life easier later on. Instead of making big plans right away, start with smaller, less intrusive ideas. These tend to be met with less resistance.
4. Ask For Their Advice
When parents start to feel like patients, their happiness and self-esteem can begin to plummet. To prevent this, show them that you still want and need them around by asking for their advice and input from time to time. This could be on anything from their care to your love life. By doing this, you show that they’re not a burden to you and are still an incredibly important part of your life. Just make sure that you pick your moments wisely, or you could cause unnecessary stress.
5. Each Set Your Boundaries
When it comes to someone you love, setting boundaries can seem unnatural. That being said, if you set no limits at all, you’ll be left exhausted and your parent upset and stressed. To avoid conflict and stress, sit down with your parent and decide exactly what you are each comfortable handling. You can always hire professional help to assist with the jobs that neither of you can manage. This will keep your relationship on the right track.
6. Make Your Home Safe
If your plan includes moving your parent in with you, then make sure that your home is safe and comfortable. They’ll need somewhere to sleep, of course, which may require some moving around. Do this before they arrive. You’ll also need to add safety features, like grab bars and alarms, to make their life safer and easier. scan the whole property for potential trip hazards and do your best to eliminate these dangers.
7. Accept Help When Necessary
Taking care of someone takes its toll, both physically and mentally. For this reason, make sure that you ask for and accept help when you need it. This isn’t an easy thing to do, but it’s crucial for your parent’s well-being as much as your own. Family and friends can help out in a number of ways, from collecting groceries to completing chores. Those most trusted can even stay with your parent for a while and give you a break. Bring in professionals for occasional assistance.
8. Expect A Few Arguments
When a parent gets sick, everyone involved can get understandably emotional, including your parents, siblings, and, of course, yourself. Stress and strong emotions can lead to frustration and even anger. Arguments in such situations are not uncommon, especially with siblings who are not primary care providers for the parent. When things like this happen, try to keep a clear head and be forgiving. After all, everyone is upset and the things said are said in the heat of the moment. They may not really mean them.
9. Lean On Loved Ones
Instead of fighting all the time, you and your family can learn to lean on one another and offer each other support. Talk through what you’re feeling and help each other stay strong and feel included int he process. Chat with friends and other loved ones for a well-earned break and boost. If you don’t feel like talking to those around you, then look for a support group in your community. Lots of people are going through the same things that you are facing. There’s no need to struggle alone.
10. Take Care Of Yourself
When you become a caregiver, it feels natural to put your parent’s needs and wants before your own. After all, they’re the ones that need help. However, unless you take care of yourself first, you will not be able to offer care to anyone. Instead, you’ll feel stressed and exhausted. To prevent this, make sure that you eat properly and make time for exercise and a decent night’s sleep. Take breaks as often as possible and make fun plans to do things you enjoy outside of the house.
When an aging parent needs care, you may feel confused and unsure of what to do. With the advice above, you have a place to begin to choose your next steps.
