Wisdom comes with the ability to be still. Just look and just listen. No more is needed. Being still, looking, and listening activates the non-conceptual intelligence within you. Let stillness direct your words and actions.
ECKHART TOLLE
I’m so happy to introduce Debbie Gies, our first contributor to the The Voices of Wisdom Series. Debbie, an author and prolific writer, captured my attention somewhere in cyberspace. I was drawn to her enthusiasm for life and read her book, Conflicted Hearts
, a memoir in which her strength and courage is made visible and her zest for life contagious.
The Voices of Wisdom Series is an ongoing series featuring guest posts by women of wisdom. Each guest will share some piece of wisdom gleaned from their life challenges. Stay tuned. We have more captivating reads ahead!
Next week: Kathleen Pooler, author of Ever Faithful to His Lead: My Journey Away from Emotional Abuse 
will share how her “Dark Night of the Soul” drew her into a richer spiritual life.
If you would like to be a contributor to Voices of Wisdom Series, contact me via email DSander@AgingAbundantly.com or in a message via FB or Twitter (@AgingAbundantly). WRITER’S GUIDELINES 
Thank you Debbie, for being a part of Voices of Wisdom!
My Journey Through Mid-Life and What I Learned
By Debbie Gies
Have you ever been on a ride that was completely smooth – no bumps, no valleys, and no inclines? I can say with certainty that I haven’t, and naturally, my journey through mid-life was no exception.
When I was young, I thought I was invincible. My plans to battle age developed decades before I hit my mid-life years. My arsenal of age-fighters were nothing short of trying to maintain a healthy eating and exercise regime, and an ongoing supply of whatever beauty aids, creams, potions, and lotions I would read about, in efforts to preserve myself from aging.
But the truth is, aging is a natural process of life. And, it entails much more than just our physical attributes. As I transitioned into my middle years, many things changed. My perceptions and values changed, my evaluations on friendships changed, even my tolerances and gratitudes changed.
Time became more apparent; not all of these things happened simultaneously, but as the hands of time began pointing in the direction of fifty, I noticed several changes within myself.
I BECAME MORE AWARE OF PASSING TIME
Although the healthy measures I adapted to when I was younger were moderately paying off, staving off wrinkles as best I could, my attitude towards life in general had changed. I became a lot more aware of how quickly the days were passing, and how illness can change life in a flash. And I became concerned about the fact that I hadn’t accomplished anything that made me feel like I would be leaving my footprints behind when it came time for me to go to the next world. I felt time closing in on me.
I began spending a lot more time reading about spirituality. I was trying to regain a sense of faith and to stay focused on being positive, particularly in dark times when my imagination would get the best of me with worries and unpleasant dilemmas.
THE IMPORTANCE OF GRATITUDE
I became much more aware of the importance of gratitude; learning to be grateful for everything and everyone in my life, and for even the smallest of victories and accomplishments – particularly for each subsequent birthday.
I grew to realize that when I didn’t want to go somewhere I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t have to go anymore, just to appease others. I re-evaluated friendships and found some were valuable, and some sucked the life out of me. I learned to walk away from the negative situations. I learned to say no to those who constantly took from me and had given nothing in return.
A HEALTH CRISIS
I mentioned birthdays because as I grew into my forties, the passing years began to scare me; fearing each birthday signaled the remaining years in my life were becoming less. I also learned how when people have a life-threatening health scare, the incident can become a wake-up call for our gratitude. I realized this after undergoing open-heart surgery to remove a tumor on one of my valves in my mid-forties. The experience reminded me again, about how short life really is, and had me questioning myself about what I’d done in life, and what I still wanted to accomplish if I was given the chance to live. I discovered a new appreciation for how valuable my time was, and I vowed to spend it being happy and positive.
My husband has a saying that began resonating with me profoundly, “You need to celebrate each birthday because it’s a reminder you’re on the right side of the green.” Prior to my surgery, I used to lament and complain about having another birthday and getting older. But I realized how right he was when I was suddenly faced with the thought that perhaps there would be no more birthdays. We should never shun our birthdays. We must celebrate them in gratitude for our life, for how far we’ve come, how much we’ve conquered in our life, and for how much we’re loved and appreciated by the people in our lives.
“Life is what we make of it.”
Life is what we make of it. Time is short, as I notice the days whipping by like a freight train. I hadn’t accomplished things I wanted to do, but learned 
that as long as I was gifted with a tomorrow, I had to do things that made me happy.
I knew in my soul, I was born to write. I dabbled in it for decades without taking a serious approach to it. In my forties, it became a nagging desire. I needed to write books. I reviewed my life experiences, and realized I hadn’t settled down and focused on writing books because I was too busy socializing, and couldn’t discipline myself to write. As my late forties approached, gifted with my second chance in life, I felt compelled to follow my dream. I worked hard at staying focused on writing, while learning the self-publishing business. I began writing my first book. Now, I’m on my way to publishing my fifth book.
I now feel as though I’ve left some sort of contribution from my existence to the world. I’ve created footprints.
D.G. Kaye©2016
“In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
D.G. Kaye (Debbie Gies) is the author of Conflicted Hearts, Meno-What? A Memoir, Words We Carry, and Have Bags, Will Travel. She is a nonfiction writer of memoirs about life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.
Please feel free to visit and follow Debbie:
Website: www.dgkayewriter.com
Amazon author page: www.amazon.com/author/dgkaye7
Goodreads page: www.goodreads.com/dgkaye
Twitter: www.twitter.com/pokercubster
Google: www.google.com/+DebbyDGKayeGies
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/dgkaye7
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/dgkaye7
Instagram: www.instagram.com/dgkaye
Facebook: www.facebook.com/dgkaye
Check out her books and read first chapters:
Conflicted Hearts: www.smarturl.it/bookconflictedhearts
Words We Carry: www.smarturl.it/bookwordswecarry
MenoWhat? A Memoir: www.smarturl.it/bookMenowhatAMemoir
Have Bags, Will Travel www.smarturl.it/bookHaveBags
A wise owl bookend used to gaze at me from a bookcase shelf. Now it has traveled to the next address.
The value of gratitude – and humor – I’ll hang on the those during these busy days. You’re off to a good start with this series, Dorothy. Thanks, Debby, for your contribution here!
Thanks for popping by Marian. I know you’re up to your eyeballs preparing to move, yet, you still made it here. 🙂
Debbie! On the same page re birthdays … as they say, its better than the alternative. Many of us never get over getting old. What a shame. Life is a gift and every new day that we wake up to is indeed a cause for gratitude.
“…questioning myself about what I’d done in life…” You came early to asking this question. It is that proverbial fork in the road that we all face at some point of our life. Congrats on the books! Wishing you continued success in all your ventures.
Thank you Valentina. You’re so right, I came early because I worried about growing older while I was still young. The days and months went by, then consequently the years, reminding me I had to start fulfilling my desires. And although I got a late start, like many, a wake up call was my inspiration to move forward. It’s never too late to do the things which fulfill us, we all need to remember this. 🙂
Thank you, Marian, for stopping by at such a busy time in your life! I’ve fallen in love with owls ~ and of course, they speak to me of wisdom.
Thank you, Debbie and Dorothy for a great reminder about gratitude. I too had a health crisis that made me change my ways and I’m very lucky to be done with it.
Thank you Joan for reading. It’s sometimes unfortunate that we have to be faced with a crisis before we get the wake up call in life. But better late than never. And I’m happy to learn you too are over your health crisis. #Gratitude 🙂
It’s difficult to escape a health issue by the time we reach our age! And, they do make us wiser. We tend to think we’re invincible otherwise, right?!
Thank you so much Dorothy for inviting me into your wonderful circle of wisdom. And thank you for the lovely introduction. I’m looking forward to reading all the coming posts from so many empowered and wise women here. 🙂
Gratitude was such a wonderful topic choice, Debbie! Switching my frame of reference to gratitude lifts my spirits in a heartbeat . Speaking of gratitude, I am so grateful for the caring, compassionate women who show up to support each other here and elsewhere in cyberspace and on earth – knowing we’re not alone makes the journey a whole lot easier!
So true Dorothy. It is certainly inspiring to be a part of such a wonderful circle. 🙂
What a great post, Debbie! And of course, nothing warms my heart more than a writer finding her voice and writing. Ah, heaven, no? And thank you, Dorothy, for having Debbie’s post here!
Thanks for dropping in, Susan! I always value your input. 🙂
Thank you so much Susan. I’m grateful to have been invited to share here on Dorothy’s wonderful space. And more lovely to connect with other like-minded women like you Susan. 🙂
What a beautiful post! Thanks for reminding us to make each day count.
Thank you for stopping by, Amy! Debbie’s post is an inspiration and a great reminder to love the life we’re living!
Thank you so much Amy for coming over to read, and as always leaving your own kind words behind. <3
This resonates so strongly with me. Thank you for sharing. I have to admit that since the passing of my mother 3-1/2 years ago, my mortality has stalked me like a shadow in the forest. So I understand when you say how quickly time seems to pass all of a sudden. Thank you for your example and your insights. A lovely post and one I needed to read today. Namaste <3 <3
Thank you Stacy. I’m glad your found it encouraging. Namaste <3
There’s nothing like a health crisis to make us grow up fast and face life’s brevity. Thank you for telling more of your story, Debby and thank you for following your heart’s desire. Congratulations on a good start, Dorothy.
Thank you Elaine. It’s lovely to see you here. <3
This is a beautiful post. Being in my late 49s and wanting desperately to be a novelist, and allowing work and life to keep getting in the way of my dream, this resonated with me so much. Thank you to Debbie and Dorothy for sharing. Wonderful!
It’s never too late to follow your dreams! I didn’t start writing seriously until I was in my mid-50’s and have been writing like mad ever since. I know so many writers who have done the same. Get in touch with me if you could use some support in this regard. I love working with “Late Blooming Writers”! They are usually the most talented!
Thank you Kim. I’m so glad I’ve inspired you to move on with your dream. Don’t wait for something terrible to come along and have to kick you in the pants for a good reminder. 🙂
Dear Debbie & Dorothy, I appreciate the insights you have offered. I am 54 and have just closed my business due to work related injuries. Reading your words have helped me to continue. When the time came for my business to be closed I found that my whole sense of who I was went down the drain and I was not sure if I could continue. Your words have been instrumental in my journey, I will seek to be grateful for what is in my life, thank you both for your wisdom. Your words saved my life, thank you. Sincerely Rod Shore
I discovered that life begins at 54! I hope you will as well, Roderick. When something huge in our life goes away it does leaves a giant hole. Like you said, our sense of who we are goes missing. I went through this a couple of times in my life time and though really, really hard at the time, the struggle seemed to make me not only stronger, but wiser. It shakes up our world and presents us with an opportunity to take a hard look at ourselves and not only our choices to date, but how we view the meaning and purpose of our lives. Those are tough questions but they provide us with the foundation from which to make our choices and re-build our lives. What we choose the next time is often much more in line with who we are and way more interesting! Best of luck to you as you rebuild your world . . . one little tiny choice at a time.
Rod, It seems mid-life transitions is an apt name. There is something about reaching that halfway mark in our lives when our perspectives change due to the circumstances that unfold around us and our own personal evaluations on life. Sometimes all we really need is to hear words of encouragement from others who have traveled the same path. I am so glad to hear that if just a tiny part of what I shared has lifted you. You’ve certainly come to the right place here for words of wisdom. 🙂
What a beautiful post… So grateful to be friends, Deb ❤
Nice to see you here, Tina! Deb is a wonderful person and I’ve so enjoyed getting acquainted with her on cyberspace. Her energy is infectious!
Thanks Tina. Me too. <3
Thank you Tina. Me too. <3
Hi Dorothy, I came over from Debby’s site. What a wonderful series to feature, I am now signed up! Deb – as always, I love reading your writing, nodding furiously in agreement with all you share. One of the reasons I started my blog was to hopefully encourage others that it’s never too late to chase your dreams, no matter what life has thrown at you in the past. Like you, I always wanted to write but it wasn’t until my early 50’s that I was able to, as you well know. Holding a grateful heart, letting go of all the negative stuff and people who suck the life out of us is wise advice indeed. And you are an inspiration to all who read you and I am so grateful to call you friend. Thank you as always for your generous, kind and wise soul. Bless you both. Hugs…Sherri <3
Thank you, Sherri! What a great way to start my morning! I love Debby. She has a generous and wise heart and I am so happy she joined us here. I look forward to reading your blog and seeing you here again in the future.
HI Sher. Thanks so much for reading and following over here too. And thank you for the beautiful compliments. I’m so glad that I have been just a tiny bit helpful through my writing, and grateful for your friendship. 🙂 <3
Good advice Debby. It becomes increasingly important in “advancing age.” Make every day count.
Thanks so much John. Sometimes we need that little reminder. 🙂
Life is a journey of walking in some valleys and then reaching mountain tops. I have gratitude for the gift of time to explore in the valleys and rejoice on top of the mountains, or as I climb up them. As an 8 year ovarian cancer survivor I am very grateful for these years of being cancer free. I also know that when I was in the valley of fear after my diagnosis it was, and did become, an opportunity to become a stronger me. For that I have gratitude.
Thank you, Debby. I am so glad our paths crossed on the Internet.
Hi Karen. So lovely to see you here. I too am glad we connected. And you are certainly a warrior woman and earned your stripes. Adversity has a sneaky way of reminding us to be grateful. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your insights. They are truly authentic, and shared by us all in our own ways. Ultimately, the quotes you shared from Eckart Tolle are what really matter. Tuning into the Silence helps us find our true connection with Who we really are. Yes, aging is part of the cycle of life in the body, but, when we begin to realize that we are not the body, we begin to pay attention to that Silence. Our perception changes, and our earthly goals/accomplishments recede as we become less self-centered, and focus more on the exchange of energy that is primarily altruistic in nature . Does she/he who dies with the most things win? Really? Or is it those that share Love with others express their oneness with our Source? it has been said that what really matters is the love we leave behind when we are gone. Peace and blessings to ALL.
Thank you so much Dave for sharing that. And so true, it’s what we leave behind. 🙂
A fantastic post, Debby. Indeed, as time passes and we tick another birthday, we appreciate every morning we awake. <3 <3 <3
That’s the way it should be Tess. Glad we’re on the same page. 🙂 <3