What Can We Do To Ensure Our Children Don’t Have The Stress Of Looking After Us When We’re Old?

Right now the so-called sandwich generation —  middle-aged parents of children who are the children of baby boomers — are struggling to care for their own kids while also looking after their aging parents.  Life is a veritable ball of stress for the vast majority of the younger generation. The sandwich generation, arguably, is carrying a major portion of these worries. So, it’s a good opportunity to consider what  how to minimize this type stress for their children in the future.  But, what can be done?

The Financial Concerns

Many concern boil down to money.  We can only operate within the limits of our finances. If, however, we are struggling to make ends meet now, how can we ensure that our financial concerns won’t become our children’s?  We are now committed to our children’s needs. Once they are able to tend to their own care, we can consider putting additional funds into savings. Social security will help, but the issues we may face may require expensive care. This is especially true for illnesses accompanied by cognitive decline, such as dementia or Parkinson’s. If we fall prey to these conditions, will we be able to live out our days in a comfortable environment?  Parkinson’s care homes  can provide specific care, and can minimize our children’s stress. Then, it would seem, the biggest cloud hanging over their head is a financial one.

We Need To Take Care Of Ourselves Now

We all know that we have to take care of ourselves in the present moment.   There is no way of knowing what’s going to happen in the future. but prevention is better than a cure and something to take seriously as we approach middle age. Looking at a long-term goal of reducing stress and anxiety for our children,  we can do a lot of the preparation now. Financially speaking, we can increase our savings, and also focus on our  health and fitness. It’s also an opportunity to consider and work toward our own happiness. If we do this now, we are more likely to be self-sufficient and limit the time and effort required by our children later.

Tackling the problem head on is the optimum method of tackling this issue.  We all want maintain our independence and keep our faculties as intact as possible.  The approach we take to life has an impact on our well-being.  Taking control and finding ways to manage our stress.  can have a significant impact on our health down the road. We must understand that stress has a significant impact on our health and should be addressed throughout life. Many studies on dementia and Alzheimer’s highlight the value of keeping our brains fit. If you don’t use it, you will lose it is true enough to warrant attention.  Many people view being fit and healthy into their 80’s and 90’s as an anomaly. It doesn’t have to be. Taking control of your life now and making choices that benefit both body and mind can bode well for your senior years.

Do We Want Them To Look After Us?

As we think about our children and the stress of looking after us in old age, we must consider whether or not we want them to look after us. If we develop some form of cognitive decline, do we want our children to have the burden of our care? Unfortunately, when these  conversations come up in family settings, they are often avoided and dismissed. They are thought to be too negative or depressing. It is a conversation that we need to have with our loved ones. We must each find our own answer to the question, if we are unable to do care for ourselves do we want our loved ones to take on the emotionally challenging task of our care.  When faced with our own mortality and the realization that we may have to ask for help, how do we want to be treated? This debate can rage on, but really, the true answer is ours alone to consider.

While we can think about what we really want for our children when we’re too old to look after ourselves, our children may have their own ideas. They may want to do whatever they can, even if we don’t.

Boiling it Down

How much pressure are we willing to put on our children to ensure our care?  It boils down to three things, money, our own ability to care for ourselves now while we are healthy, and whether or not we want our children to look after us and in what manner? Whatever the outcome, our children will feel some degree of stress, just as we did while looking after our parents. There is stress no matter what the situation, but making choices now to control the outcome is to everyone’s advantage.

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