The need to provide support for elderly parents falls to many adult children. If time permits, think about how you want to be involved in their care. How much time and energy are you willing to put forth?
As our parent’s age, they may need some support to maintain their lifestyle and independence. It can be a strange and uncomfortable transition for everyone involved. For many, the change is gradual. This allows the necessary time for mental, emotional and practical adjustments to be made. At other times, however, a sudden health crisis can bring about the need for support quite suddenly.
Planning and organization is incredibly helpful when providing support for elderly parents. When possible, include family members, spouses and children in the the process. A team effort not only spreads the chores and activities across many, it provides support and commraderie for the supporters!
Keep Your Parents in the Loop
Unless there is a sudden deterioration in mental or physical health, start early to share your thoughts with your parents on their future care. Ask questions and find out what’s important to them. What support would be helpful to them? Are there things that are becoming difficult for them to do? What are they worrying about? Perhaps there are some immediate solutions you can look at such as a Val-U-Care alarm by making some adjustments to their home.
When sharing your thoughts with your parents, broach the subject tactfully and above all respectfully. More than likely they are uncomfortable requiring help. This may lead to blow back in the form of resistance, denial, anger, etc. Try not to take their response personally. Step back mentally and just let them process the changes in their lives, but continue on slowly in expressing your desire to support them.
Don’t get ahead of yourself
It can be difficult for people to give up their independence, so don’t try and take away any element of it unnecessarily. Provide help only where it is needed and where it will be accepted. Small adjustments made from time to time will be easier to deal with than sudden huge changes.
But do look to the future
It’s always a good idea to anticipate what type of support you’ll need to give in the future. If either of your parents are living with a medical condition, you should find out how it is likely to progress and at what speed. It will help you plan for the future rather than being surprised by any turn of events.
Get any legal matters taken care of
If you’re going to be acting on behalf of your parents in any capacity, arranging medical appointments, etc, then you’ll need to complete any necessary documentation with the relevant companies. Due to the laws around the protection of data, you’d find it difficult to do even simple things on their behalf without prior authorization. This can include talking with banks, energy providers, and even phone companies.
Further down the line, it’s a good idea to have a conversation about power of attorney, so that you legally make any important decisions if your parents are unable to for any reason. The process of gaining a power of attorney is a difficult one, this is to ensure that it is done correctly.
Final thoughts
Taking on more of a caring role in your relationship with your parents can be a challenging time for everyone involved. After all, it’s a reversal of what you’ve known your entire life. The process is never easy but there are things you can do to minimize the upheaval for everyone involved and focus on helping your parents maintain their quality of life.
