Worry is a habit most of us have spent a lifetime cultivating. When we start worrying as young people, most of us didn’t even think of it as worrying. What we thought we were doing, and likely still do, is figuring things out. There is a fine line between using our brains to problem solve and using them wasting our precious energy in fruitless thinking, or worrying.
PROBLEMS VS. WORRY
The good news is that we can take steps right now to begin to break the worry habit. First let’s take a look at what worry is exactly. Webster defines it as “mental distress or agitation resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated : ANXIETY“. At fifty, sixty or seventy, worry is often a more complex experience. It becomes a background hum. We may have plenty of conscious worrisome thoughts, such as: “Should I sell my house and move into something smaller?“, “Who will take care of me if I get sick?”, “Will I have enough money to meet my needs?” . We may think endlessly about an unwell partner, a troubled child, a sick grandchild. Before we know it there’s a quite hum of distress hovering over us like a dark cloud.
There are many steps we can take to actually solve specific problems that will put our worrying minds to rest, but what I want to address here are two practices that fairly quickly lift us out from the dark cloud space. Then, we can begin to think more clearly and find more energy to take the steps we need to take to solve our real concerns.
PRACTICE ONE: Play the What If Game
I love this practice! Most of the time we play the what if game when we’re deep in catastrophic thinking. You know what I’m talking about. What if I my elderly mother gets Covid? Or, What if I get Covid and can’t work? What if Russia launches a nuclear bomb? The list is endless. This is the well entrenched habit that it’s time to break!
Turn this game around. Instead of thinking about the next catastrophic event that might inflict your life, think about the possibilities. Don’t worry about whether your thoughts are realistic or not, just enjoy the fantasy. I’ll help you get started.
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- What if someone anonymously paid for my groceries?
- What if my son found the perfect job that paid him a three figure salary?
- What if my health issues vanished?
- What if they found a cure for my husband’s illness and he started getting better?
- What if an acquaintance offered me their vacation home, free of charge, for three weeks?
Start dreaming. Let your imagination run wild. I like to do this in writing, but you may enjoy closing your eyes and letting your mind weave a web of spectacular design. I promise, the more you do this, the better you will feel. Caution: Any time you find yourself presenting obstacles to your what ifs, let them go. Remind yourself this is a game and part of the game is that obstacles are not allowed!
PRACTICE TWO: Good Old Fashioned Gratitude
I know I don’t really have to talk about this practice. It’s just a reminder that gratitude makes everything better. It’s automatic. You can’t worry when you’re expressing gratitude for what you have. It’s impossible. So, take advantage of that truth. If you start to worry, replace your worrisome thoughts with grateful ones. The more you do, the less room there will be for worry. And, you will feel more positive overall. Guaranteed.
Remember these are “practices”. One and done will lift you up briefly, but if you’re looking for real change in your life, make these two practices a regularly part of your day. When you do, your optimistic outlook on life will grow stronger and the dark cloud of worry will begin to evaporate.
Very timely article, Dorothy!